The Epic Battle of Lucy and the Ninja Squirrel

(This story is true. The names and places have been changed so significantly it should be impossible to determine who the story is about.)

Lucy Curr walked out of her office. It had been a long day and she was ready to get home and see her husband, Juff Curr. She looked at the high mountains surrounding her home in Dunver, Culurado.

As she walked across the parking lot she noticed some movement out of the corner of her eye. She stopped and looked closer but nothing was there. She dug in her purse for her keys.

After a few moments of searching she located them and hit the button on the remote unlock the doors. She pushed one more time, and again, harder. The car sat quiet. The familiar click of the locks was absent.

She continued across the parking lot, keeping her attention focused to her left and right. Again she saw movement. She stopped once more and stared in the direction it had come from. She squinted but saw nothing.

“This is crazy,” she thought. “It’s just my mind playing tricks on me.”

She continued, but at a more hurried pace. She got to her vehicle and stuck the key into the door. As she turned it a cold chill rippled down her spine. She felt the beady eyes of her foe, staring at her. She slowly turned to face her attacker.

“So Mrs. Curr, we meet at last,” said the ninja squirrel.

“I guess we do,” Lucy replied, leaving her keys in the door, and readying her bag for the battle.

In a flash the two clashed there in the parking lot. Wild kicks and chops came from the ninja squirrel, but they were blocked with each swing of Lucy’s bag. The two battled for what seemed like an eternity.

The two combatants paused after a series of furious exchanges to catch there breath. Each stood sweaty, tired and frustrated that they were unable to mount a solid offense against the other.

“You are stronger than I anticipated, Mrs. Curr. But you will not last much longer. Your skills are not yet ready to vanquish, the ninja squirrel.”

Lucy only grinned and they returned to battle. The ninja squirrel flew into the air. He screamed wildly and came down with fists flaling, a fury unseen by most men.

Lucy did not waiver. She brought her bag up and matched the squirrel blow for blow. They fought longer still. Lucy swung her bag with such might, it startled the squirrel, but undeterred he fought with extra vigor and zeal. They parted, both barely able to stand.

The squirrel was visibly shaken, stunned that his foe still stood across from him unvanquished.

“This is not the end, Lucy. You have fought valiantly, but you will not be so lucky the next time we meet.”

“That’s Mrs. Curr,” she stated defiantly eyeing the squirrel, ready to attack.

There eyes stayed lock for a few moments then the squirrel, retreat into a tree and was gone. Lucy breathed a sigh of relief, opened the car door and went home.

To other onlookers this epic battle may have only appeared to be a grown woman watching a squirrel, then swinging her bag violently to defend herself against the squirrel that she thought jumped out of the tree to attack her, but in reality had just been a leaf. They did not see the true beauty of these two noble combatants battling for victory.

Lucy made it home, the squirrel was safe in the tree. Unfortunately the leaf that fluttered to Earth, startling Lucy and unwittingly bringing an onslaught of furious blows from a bag upon itself did not fair as well. Rest in peace little leaf. We hardly knew thee.